Everything I Do
by Dystopian Wonderland
Summary: 14 year old Cloud Strife has put it upon himself to become a SOLDIER. But with his physical appearance and tainted personality, the road to SOLDIER will NOT be easy. If only there were a light to guide his rigid way... [YAOI:ZackxCloud]
1. PROLOGUE

**Everything I Do**  
by Xyphlenzktic

**Disclaimer**: All the characters, settings ..etc. are all copyright to the rich and famous SQUARE-ENIX. This will be the main disclaimer: you wouldn't see this appearing in future chapters.  
**Warnings**: If you didn't notice in the summary, this will be a _Yaoi_ fanfiction - meaning that the romance (and future sex scenes) of this story will be dealing between the **two males**, Zack and Cloud. If you happen to be a close-minded homophobe (shame on you by the way), then just get lost. Make as if you never read this. Please, I don't want any stupid review bashing when the warnings were posted for public view before the story. On another note, if there is any form of OOC in the future, it's not deliberate so I apologize beforehand.

**PROLOGUE**

---

Nibelheim was raining when he left for Midgar.

Thick, heavy laces of rain rammed down on earth like no tomorrow, overflowing the already fertile lands. The present fog affected not only the view in general but the colors of the scene, blending in all forms of red, yellow and blue to an overall mix of morbid, deep gray. It was blurry, and to put it bluntly, a downright ugly _mess_.

Cloud Strife sat still in the train, keeping his gaze fixed on the rather appalling weather through the glass window of the train. Eyebrows laced into a knot at the end, fingers entwined within each other, Cloud gave a barely audible sigh and intensified his gaze upon the tragic weather.

It had been raining long before he even left Nibelheim to catch the train. His mother was shedding an already excess of glistening streams of tears. He idly looked back...looked back upon the state he had Nibelheim. His home. His childhood.

His mother was in a state of distressed misery when he walked out on her. The only person who showed any form of kindness, concern, and love towards him was not content before he departed for a long adventure.

_"Are you well equipped?"_

_"Have you got enough snack for the way?"_

_"Did you pack up all your clothes, especially your pullovers?"_

_"And I hope you didn't forget the second shampooing and conditioner!"_

_"Oh please, Cloud honey, make it that you'll be okay..."_

And then she began to rain.

It hurt. It really _did_ hurt. It hurt to leave his only solace in doubt and in worry. In grief and in pain. It hurt to leave her usually beaming yellow smile of joy, in a sordid gray frown of concern. To leave the only person he had in negative conditions. To leave the only person he had thinking wrong of him.

Panic began to creep into his way - his head - his heart. How could he have left his mother - his only family - his only light - in such pitiful distress? His mother who dearly depended on him like he depended on her? With all what the two had to endure day and night with the other citizens of Nibelheim, the two profoundly needed each other. Cloud hung his head in defeat, looking at nothing more than the scruffy hard metal board of the train floor, and the brim of his shoes. Questions began to flood him of what he had done. Could this have been a mistake? Leaving his mother as now the only prey to the villainy of the citizens in Nibelheim?

What had he been thinking. She needed him. She needed him more than anything to keep moving. So how...why...? Why...?

_Stop it_, his ego finally got the nerve to bark out. _I'm doing all of this for her, for me, for us - for the sake of our lives_. The slumbering ego within him had just about time taken it upon itself to set his mind back to how he had it, before leaving his mother.

_I'm going to become a SOLDIER_. He told himself boldly. _I'm going to prove those bitches they call people that I'm much much **much** worth than what they believe. Yeah...they'll see alright. They'll regret everything. _He paused for a moment. _I'm going to awe Tifa. Better yet, I'll be able to take care of Mother better._

His ego had done its work. It had re-motivated Cloud to the way he should have been. A small, but still smug smile tentatively crept its way across his rather effeminate face. He brought his head backup high,to confirm his boldness. He turned to look at his reflection through the glass window, to _see_ his boldness for himself. The long golden weaves of hair where partially shadowing his face, hiding his glistening sky blue eyes, big and round like stone gems. He brushed the said strands away from view - in order to properly look at himself, through those innocent eyes of hope.

_That's right,_ his ego told himself again. _I'm gonna be a big SOLDIER_. _A very big one._

_I'll return to everyone as a SOLDIER._

There was a gleam within his eyes as his smile broadened.

_I'll return to everyone like the famous General..._

_...Like the Legendary Sephiroth._

---

I know this was shamefully short, (sincenothinggoshdarnhappens) but it's just the prologue. Any time from now the actual first chapter would be up. :) If you haven't figured it out for yourself, this is all pre-game, within the years of Cloud as a Shin-Ra grunt. And OMIGAWD! It's not Sephiroth x Cloud! --...


	2. CHAPTER 1 : The Leprous

**Everything I Do**  
by Stupid Aquarius

**Author's note**: …Like woah. Am I an ass or what? My sincere apologies. I think this long breakhad something to dowith the sudden bizarre storm of Z/C soldier-trainee fics. Anyway it's up now, so y'all can shut-up with the 'finally! She updated!'crap : )

This note wasn't meant for rambling about that however. I thought I'd take a small moment to personally thank those who reviewed! That was very generous of your part. I hope you'll be satisfied with what I managed to produce (unfortunately it's still a good dose of introduction) for this chapter.

And for those of you who are reading my Gold Saucer fic, keep in mind that I'm writing! I hope to have the next chapter sometime this May. So look out for that! It's much more interesting not to mention originalthan this anyway!

**CHAPTER I**  
The Leprous

---

Thick...gray...dull... those were Cloud's first words of Midgar's overall impression, the minute he set foot off the train.

The ride had been long, and during the entire time, he was feeling rather nauseous. Though the nausea was not only the result of him being in a train (Cloud gets car sick, a discovery new to him) - it was also due to the _air _in the train- what he had to breathe _in, _inorder to stay conscious during the ride

Listless scents were blended into the air, turning it more into a toxic odour than the scent-less air the passengers were supposed to inhale. Perfumes, colognes, the people laughing-slash-talking, sweat particles…like mentioned the list just went on and on and on. It was such a dreadful stench with too many atoms combined, Cloud couldn't even decipher the origins to most of the odours.

Not that Cloud was even trying to. He was too busy clenching his stomach harder and harder by the second, --- at any moment given, he could've sworn he'd leap out of the vehicle. Never had he been so eager to get out of a vehicle. He couldn't wait to get out of the train and get a hold of the world's daily air. Maybe it was because he wasn't used to being crammed in tiny spaces.

But now that he was out, anticipation had switched to relief, but then that relief had flipped to a sudden uncalled wake up call.

He wasn't in the mountains anymore, he realized. Where life was green, the air was fresh and the sun was beaming its heavenly rays on the people's shiny happy faces.

This was Midgar. A city. Where life looked grey, the air even more toxifying than that of the train, and there was no sun to shine its heavenly rays…nor was there anybody with shiny happy face.

Nature life was a definite contrast.

"And now young cadets, I shall lead you boys to your training grounds. From there, there'd be another discourse and then registration and _then_, finally, you'll be assigned to your dormitories. Got that?"

No, Cloud wasn't really registering that. He found himself being stricken by Midgar's impression: the place was desultory. It looked…empty, albeit the busy people pushing and shoving past each other. The place evoked a sordid feel, unpleasant to Cloud. Unwelcoming. It was inexplicable.

Midgar's appearance was opposite to its content; it looked abandoned, deserted, lost. But yet it held the most opportunities for any sort of job in search of, the wildest parties ever to be created and of course, the richest of people - and all this attracted thousands from around the Planet. So it was to no doubt that the population was an extreme mass, and that the city was most definitely not abandoned, deserted, lost. But still…he couldn't help but feel troubled by this sensation.

Midgar appeared to have it's own shower of rain, too; the remaining dew covered the pavements and every concrete object exposed, like a thin plastic foil of sheen on top of the town, reflecting the tragic color of the gloomy sky.

"So if you would please all queue up in a line, then pass through here one by one..."

_Oh,_ Cloud exclaimed, finally drawing his attention back to the instructor. _We're already at the building and it seems they're handing more documents. _He frowned._ Huzzah, more reading. Like the first dose wasn't enough._

Cloud was about to drown himself into some sort of mental, self-to-self talk - when _something_ caught the corner of his eye.

At a distance, he saw two people walking away from back; a guy and a girl. Where the girl was dressed in pink from head to toe and appeared well endowed, that was not what caught his attention.

It was the guy, or rather, what the guy was in possession of - he had a sword strapped onto his back - a sword he had never seen before. Never even imagined. Never even _dreamed_ of.

The weapon was frightfully wide, and even more unsettlingly long. Heavens, that man could probably cut anything with a weapon of that size. ,.

_Is he...in the Shin-Ra army?_ Cloud pondered, eyes still fixated upon his object of interest. According to him, it wouldn't be logical for a normal citizen to waltz around the city with a weapon of that size - unless of course, the city was filled with psychopathic hooligans.And with such an enviouslyperfect body built like _that..._ _He...he has to be in the army._

He couldn't avert his eyes. He couldn't wheel his attention back to the instructor. Wide irises were still fixated upon that corps of a god - and he was only looking at his _backside_, for heavens sake. He felt...he felt...he felt _what_, exactly? An emotion, faintly familiar to him, crept its way within heart. He remembered, vaguely...feeling something like this when he looked upon his posters, his articles, his resources regarding his all time idol Sephiroth. But that feeling was classified as awe, admiration, maybe even worship. Was it the same for what he couldn't tear his eyes from? Was it awe? Admiration? He wasn't sure, and in the end, he didn't care. Because he found himself thinking of something else:

He wanted a sword like that.

He wanted to return home with a sword like that.

He wanted to be looked upon with a sword like that.

...Maybe even stroll around the city, or Nibelheim, with a girl of his own...

...Looking like that.

In the end, Cloud called the now pounding emotion excitement; excited for what the training would be like, what he'd receive from it, how he'd go about and if they got to choose their own weapon of a kind. What would they be like? When could they start choosing? How about would he manage with the training? These were questions Cloud was impatient to get answered.

"Ayo blondy! You're the last of the lot, now hurry up!"

Cloud, completely drowned in his world, barely even noticed the queue of cadets before him go by at a rapid pace. Giving the sword one last, long, good look, he turned and jogged over to the person who was assigned to introduce them to SOLDIER.

The man was looking over Cloud in a rather unimpressed manner. After some time, he eventually mumbled, "Get in."

Cloud nodded, then entered the building.

---

"Zack."

Today was an uneventful day. Other than his little outing with his girlfriend, everything was flowing on schedule and apparently no missions were assigned for him. He sighed at this.

"_Zack_."

Fewer and fewer dilemmas were being summoned, as of late. This bothered him to a great extent. Because it meant that the superiors of Shin-Ra Inc. charged him, and _expected_ him - a SOLDIER, a fighting machine, a bloodthirsty warrior, a slayer - to do paperwork. _Paperwork_. Gods, didn't the men of Shin-Ra lack a lot of logic, he thought. Of all the things in the world, he was shoved thoughtlessly with the one duty he loathed with an unhealthy passion. He growled at this.

"_Zachary Lionel!_"

The calling finally crashed into his thoughts, shattering his threads of futile brooding over how dull his day was. _Well would you look at that...is thee world's most renowned deify pawning at me_, he mused, unconsciously sweeping the shattered pieces of his previous topic in some corner of his mind. Whether he'd pick up on the brooding again, was not defined. There were high possibilities that he would, seeing as how he had nothing else to do. Worth remote interest, anyway.

Sephiroth, otherwise baptized the God, was standing in front of his desk...waiting...and waiting. ...And still waiting.

Sephiroth was a man where respect came by its own. The people stooped down a dog's status to worship the baptized God. But this was only done out of fear; fear of what the God would unleash as a wrath if anyone had dared to disobey his orders, or dared to not meet his will. With a man in possession of _too_ much power, it was better to be 'over-vigilant'. Theoretically, this was very wise of them.

...but if this one man, under the name Zack, had any sort of moral _wisdom_, and instead followed the sheepish way the rest of the world behaved, then he was notorious for nothing. Indeed, this man had a reputation for being able to stand against anything that didn't meet _his_ own will. Even against the world's worshiped God.

The man was thick. Thicker than any concrete substance known to existence.

So being the notorious man he was, Zack audaciously gave Sephiroth nothing more than his exasperated mood; eyelids restraining not to fall anymore than half way and his mouth placed in a brim, thin line. And just to show to what point this man was not giving a rat's _ass_ about what he was doing, he had his legs (which were in heavy mountain boots) probed thoughtlessly onto his desk, precisely where his now mud tainted and twisted sheets laid. Zack was bored. And he wanted his superior to see it.

It was Lucifer against God.

"The report of your last mission," from where Sephiroth stood, his face remained intact and was devoid of any emotional expression. Apparently Zack's boredom seemed to hold no effect on him; either he was immune to this daily routine or he either didn't give for Zack's mental condition. "...I have not seen it."

A roll of the bored eyes. "Take a guess, 'Roth. You know I ain't done it yet." Zack drawled, bored and uninterested. As he heaved a tired sigh, he flopped his legs off the desk, only to playfully spin on his chair from side to side. He was a five-year-old in a well-endowed sixteen year-old physique.

"Then when _exactly_ do you intend to get it done?"

"Mmm..." Zack made as if he was giving the said question a thought. "...Whenever I feel like it." he finished with a light shrug of his shoulders, before folding his arms behind his head.

Yes, the man – or rather, the _boy_ - was oh so _very_ thick.

"Now wouldn't that be in an awfully long time." Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "It's already two weeks overdue."

The constant squeak of Zack's wheeling chair came to a halt, as he stopped his playful choreography. "What the _fuck_. I'm a SOLDIER First Class. I shouldn't be having my blood-pulsing ass stuck in a godforsaken desk." He eyed _it_. Face torn between disgust and loathe. God, did he hate _it_. "With _paperwork_. Couldn't I just tell them what happened? Jeez."

Nothing had changed from Sephiroth's expression. He still stood there, blinking long lashes slowly, unfazed. Eventually he gave in, retreating to his own seat without a sole note from his lips. As far he was concerned, Zack would have to deal with whatever consequences Heidegger had planned for him. "Heidegger will not be all too thrilled to hear this."

From Zack's way, a mocking snort followed suite. "Well what could he do? That inhuman lump of fat can barely even keep up with my walking pace." His chair, in desperate need of oil, began piercing eardrums again as it squeaked to every motion Zack winded the chair.

"From what I've heard, he's having new ideas for you."

Like mentioned before, Zack made a mule seem awfully cooperative and willing. Still unable to accept the reality of the situation, he only laughed at the General's statement, sending it right back at his face. "Whatever it is, I'll deal with it later." He raked a hand through his hair. "Imma go eat now. Food's calling for me!"

And with that, Zack waltzed out the door.

_Well..._ Sephiroth mused to himself. _Doesn't this boy have nerve._

With a small but amused smile, Sephiroth dismissed all thoughts and continued with his own accumulating work.

---

"David, it's nice to be sharing a room with the three of us together."

Green eyes met hazel ones, implanted with a gleaming look of excitement. "Yeah it is, ain't it?" David smirked, a movement that went all too well on his ochre-colored skin and light chestnut hair - only now, the said strands were gelled into countless messy spikes. "Who would've thought we'd all end up in the same dorm room? It's all fate I tell you!" David turned to share his content smile with a third person present in the room. "Ain't that right, Xavier?"

Xavier, in response, cracked up a short laugh. "It sure is!" His head was tossed back by just an angle as he laughed again, his long, dark shoulder-length hair toppling over in motion. When he brought his head back up, his amber eyes went to meet those hazel ones of the first speaker, Anthony. "Just the three of us and no one else! It's cool to be able to release our dream together."

"But weren't there supposed to be four to a room?" Anthony gave a small quirk of his eyebrow, as he questioned this.

"Who gives about the fourth person!" answered David, with a swat of his hand over his friend's back. "So long as we're together on this, I don't see why anything else should matter!"

The trio grouped into a hug. They embraced each other, filling the air with their laughter, contentment, amusement - a typical amicable scene, picturing a group of long-term friends expressing and sharing forms of joviality amongst each other, no one else but each other. The air was beyond the definition of joyous, and for a moment, it seemed like nothing could break this inseparable bound of friendship. But that was until-

-the metal handle of the aged paint-chipped door creaked open.

The intruder pushed the door open in a slow motion, dragging a screech caused by the metal hinges as he struggled to let himself in. David, Anthony and Xavier stared. At the door. Their heads were quick to shoot glances at each other again, reading the same line glinting from the reflection their souls: their eyes. No...it couldn't...

Their smiles had dropped. The joy had dropped. The mood had dropped. The air was tense. Why, everything all of a sudden felt so _painfully_ heavy...

It wasn't that they were scarred - no, they were very far from scarred. It must have been the hope they cherished not before long ago, of them being together, the three of them together, alone. No one else. And that hope, that sole hope, must have left them - evaded, transferred, escaped - and left them in a tangled mess of confusion. Of _wonder_. Of anxiety.

Of deception.

Eventually, the rusty metal hinges grinding against metal came to a fading halt, as the intruder stood to pause by the doorframe, revealing his identity to those present in the room.

The intruder was Cloud Strife.

Nothing happened for a long moment. Cloud stood there, belongings in hand, while David, Anthony and Xavier stayed rooted at their own spot gazing back at the blonde. The silence was so powerful that the frequent chirps and laughs of other cadets could be heard through the open door.

Not a single note broke from Cloud's mouth as he helped himself to the single free bed at the very corner of the room, where no belongings were discarded thoughtlessly on to the tattered bunk. He let himself fall on the mattress as the ancient springs shrieked to life in response.

"Jee, I had no idea Shin-Ra accepted ten-year-old kids into the army as well."

That was uncalled for. It wasn't even _necessary_. The sole thing Cloud did was the prudent act of not saying a word and moving away from the others. Afar from them. In the shadows of them. And they, on the contrary, had put it upon themselves to strike on him nonetheless, as if he'd done something to merit their antic comment.

He hadn't done anything, had he?

But this was also just in general; the receptionists of SOLDIER had given Cloud the same replica; not line-by-line, but in the same 'you're small, what are you doing here?' context. Why the people of the world just couldn't refrain their own judgments to themselves, Cloud hadn't the slightest.

From his hung head, blue eyes now glowering stormy gray rolled themselves upwards - tentatively - slowly - to the stranger, which happened to be David. He kept his look fixed, piercing right into his eyes.

That struck him. That comment struck his dormant ego. He should have expected that. He should have been waiting for that. He didn't really think his troubles from Nibelheim were over, did he? Or that the profanity of all human beings he encountered were over as of when he entered Shin-Ra, did he?

Or was it that complication simply liked to follow him? It seemed trouble and complication were very fond of him.

But _damnit_, why did everyone have to judge what they saw?

"This 'kid' you're referring to," Cloud started, slowly. Softly. Deeply. A hint of menace. "...has more potential than you can fathom."

He didn't recall saying that. Hell, he didn't even recall _thinking_ over that. Whether the statement was true, he, honestly speaking, wasn't exactly certain for himself. His ego was working in a totally different degree and direction, with a mind of its own. Before he normally knew it, his other half (his ego) had blurted some menace without some proper thought of consideration.

_You are exceptional in your own ways, and you are going to prove it to everyone, albeit all what they think_. He promised himself he was going to climb the ladder up to SOLDIER, by all means. With the awareness that the ladder was long - oh so very long. But it was a ladder he was willing to climb - that he had to climb - no matter the circumstances, no matter all what would happen and especially, no matter what the people thought of him. He would climb and walk all over everyone. He promised himself that. It had to happen, it _had_ to. After everything he had gone through, didn't he deserve any remorse of self-satisfaction...?

Of course, his 'roommates' didn't take him all too seriously. The second Cloud had concluded his sentence, hysterical fits of laughter were thrown mockingly - carelessly - thoughtlessly - at him. Something he was all too used to experiencing. But the agony of revenge and hate never ceased to boil up inside.

David, at the while wiping off a trickle of tear, collected himself to counter. "More potential than we can fathom, huh? Well, that's for us to see at the Training Courses, don't you think?"

The only expression Cloud found himself sharing with the others was a menacing glare. At least, he _tried_ to make it look menacing. "Never judge a book by its cover." He stuck with saying.

"We'll see if that lame-ass proverb still proves itself right. I just hope for your sake it does." he grinned.

Then the trio regrouped themselves, moving to the opposite side of the room from Cloud. Away from Cloud. Afar from Cloud. The curiosity and deception had long ago faded from the trio; it didn't matter to them anymore. So long as they were complete, the fourth member didn't create the slightest bit of concern. They were already a group. They were already a squad.

What did they care for a one-metre-fifty blonde boy, who thought himself a prodigy?

But what did this matter to _him_? To Cloud? According to his reaction, - a roll of his shoulders and a flop on the bed to lay sprawled out - he didn't really care. In fact, he didn't so much of give a damn. He didn't need any friends. He didn't need anybody to make it into SOLDIER. He was independent - he lived a life without friends, so solitude was something he'd much rather be in. Alone, Cloud would make it to the top, and meet his well-endowed prize - Respect.

Just like the General.

Just like the Legendary Sephiroth.

_No_, he told himself. _I don't need any friends. I never have had any to begin with_. Before he wanted some, but now he didn't need them. He wasn't going to need them. _Because when I make it into SOLDIER, the attention and respect alone would ample enough to satisfy my needs._

Content albeit his bad start with his roommates, Cloud managed to drift into a peaceful slumber, before dawn called his way in for the start of his journey.

---

**tbc...**

---

There! How was that?Not asleep, I hope. I must note I am very not pleased with this chapter in the least bit. I wasn't supposed to submit this, since I thought it was too melodramatic. I was to instead re-write the entire dorm scene. In the end I thought I'd fix that up with the later chapters to come.

I do believe I'm portraying Cloud in a rather complicated way, (the reason for the production of this fic) and I hope you managed to catch my drift...it's kinda hard...wth did I put myself into..?

I'll try and have the next chapter up a lot sooner. :) Thanks for reading!


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